
#there’s nothing quite as miserable as lying to someone that you love #or someone you think you could love #so that they won’t ever love you back#because you think they deserve better things #and you’re not sure what those better things are #but you’re pretty sure that they aren’t things you have beneath your skin #and they aren’t things that you can keep from slipping through your fingers #and they aren’t things that can find their way up through your throat and past your lips #so the lying happens #and it tears apart your insides #and you pretend that it isn’t tearing apart your insides #because you’re lying to yourself too #but there’s nothing #nothing #like the warm feeling when the person you love (or could love maybe) ignores your lying #and stays anyway #and wraps you up in their arms to keep you safe #nothing feels like home the way your beloved’s heartbeat feels like home #even (or especially) when you feel you don’t deserve it